Nursing Mama

I did it I can nurse and with no problems!  Wait now I have to nurse.  I went into this whole baby thing thinking either 1. I won’t be able too nurse to many people I know were not able too or 2. I will be able to nurse and it will be so easy.  Well I was able to nurse but it wasn't so easy mentally or physically.

In the hospital right after Henry was born the nurses were great. They helped me figure out ways to get Henry to latch on properly (I have never been felt up so much let alone by another woman).  I was recommended to use a nipple shield which, whala it worked.  He could latch so easily but then there was the fear that I wouldn't get good stimulation so I was told to pump after every nursing session. OMG WHAT! after I nurse for an hour I now need to pump for at least ten minutes.  Well guess what my milk came in just fine. Then there was the fear that I will dry up because I am still using the nipple shield.  Luckily I was able to stop using the shield after a few months. Thank goodness because those things seemed to never be where I needed them to be when it was time to nurse.  

We got the nursing thing down, onto how you should feel.  People always told me it was so magical to hold your baby and nurse him.  Well of course I love holding my baby and cuddling him. I don’t love trying to get him to eat enough and not being able to go do anything longer than three hours because I will need to nurse or pump.  Wait, not three hours two because one of those hours is spent nursing. It took my son forever to nurse he ate slow, he would fall asleep, and well if you haven’t noticed he is a big boy so he ate a lot!  I am not joking when I say he nursed for an hour and then I would have to burp him and change his diaper. Don't forget about pumping afterwards I need to store up the milk.  I went back to work and pumped 3 times a day hoping that I could keep my milk supply up and I did.  I get it I am so lucky I was able to nurse my child and nurse my child for so long.  Secretly I was jealous of those moms that could just go do whatever they wanted. They didn't have to worry about keeping milk cold, leaking (my favorite issue), nursing in public, or pumping.  I had to make sure I was always drinking enough water, which I know is good for me.  I was crazy too I didn't ever want to use my pumped milk because it was only for emergencies.  I would only drink alcohol super late and just a little bit because I was going to have to nurse or pump. I would feel so guilty if I ever had to pump and dump (which luckily only happened twice).  I love my son and I would hold him and rock him every second if he would let me.  But something about being stuck in one spot, sometimes in an uncomfortable position because it was the only way he would latch on was frustrating.  I really struggled with nursing and maybe part of that was that I didn't have a good setup, I don’t know, but I did it and I continued to do it till my baby was 8 months.  

I am still nursing my son in the morning, only because that is much easier than fixing a bottle but no worries that will go no longer than 1 year of age.  I decided to start giving Henry formula because it was becoming too difficult to pump during the day. Also, I was not producing enough milk to get him through the next day.  I am glad I went as long as I did, I never thought I would have gone that long.  I do love not pumping or nursing as much any more.  I feel so free and not tied down to a machine. 

Through all of this, the hardest thing for me was the comments I would hear from people about how magical nursing is.  Well guess what it was not magical to me. It took me awhile to be ok with not feeling so magical.  To this day I still feel I am the only one who does not love nursing and if that is the case, fine by me! I would love to here your opinions on nursing if you love or hate it.

My Little Man's Story

I wanted to give a little background on my family.  But I really want to tell a story about something that happened to my family.  

I have been married almost 4 years, to my almost always wonderful husband Ryan ;).  I can honestly say I don’t know what I would do without him.  Don’t get me wrong there are time he can really make me mad.  We have a pretty neat story of how we met maybe I will tell it someday.  As I stated in my earlier post we excitedly welcomed our little boy Henry in February of 2013.  And this is where the story begins.  

As some people may know I lost my dad November 2009.  My dad’s name was Henry.  After I loss my dad I knew if I ever had a little boy I was going to put a lot of pressure on him to carry on the name Henry.  What I mean by pressure is that my dad was one of the most kind hearted man I knew.  He was so smart, even if he didn’t know the answer to a question he would give you an answer that he would make you believe he was right.  My poor husband never had a choice on a first name, luckily for me he liked the name.  Now for Henry’s middle name.  We choose Aaron, both Ryan and I have brothers named Aaron (which we tell them is why we picked Aaron) but Ryan is a huge baseball fan and who else to have our son strive to be like but Henry (Hank) Aaron.  My son is definitely taking after these two powerful role models.  He is so strong, smart and set in his ways.

Brother Aaron, Daddy, and Me

Now that you know how we got Henry’s name, on to our exciting story.  It starts with my Uncle Kent who helped take care of me while I was in College.  Kent and his wife my Aunt Vicki lived in Lubbock while I was going to Texas Tech.   In May of 2013 Kent passed away from Lou Gehrig disease.  Ryan, Henry and I booked our flight to leave Denver the night before the funeral.  Unfortunately our flight was canceled and the only way to get to Lubbock was to fly to Houston that night and take a flight out the next morning.  Which of course is exciting to do with a 3 month old.   This wasn't our first flight with Henry but I did not prepare for an overnight stay.  That next morning I had 2 diapers left.  We made it to Houston and the next morning we boarded our flight to Lubbock.  We leave the gate and while waiting to takeoff the pilot comes on that we will have to go a different way because of weather therefore we need to go back to the gate to get more fuel.  What we don’t fill the plane up completely.  Anyways so we get the fuel and head back out.  All of a sudden there is a loud bang, next thing we know there are fire trucks coming our way.  Our plane was struck by lightning.  So we go back to the gate and get off the plane.  I end up talking to this man who happened to be Kent’s boss.  We finally make it to Lubbock and Kent’s boss was so kind to take us to my Aunt’s house because at that point we had missed the funeral.  After all the troubles I am glad we went it was so great to see family and celebrate Kent’s life.  

Well a few days later Kent’s boss went to get all of Kent’s stuff and kept telling my aunt he just feels there is a reason why we met.  They talked a little about us and how we came up with Henry’s name.  A few days later Kent’s old boss was home back in Houston and called my aunt and said he figured it out.  He has a signed Hank Aaron baseball and he wants to give it to us from Kent.  Now my son has a Hank Aaron signed ball and an amazing story to go with it.

Every time I tell this story it just brings so much joy to me.  It reminds me how lucky my son is that he has two amazing men watching over him.  We love you and miss you Daddy and Kent!

Why Blog???

I started a blog a while back about all the races I was doing.  I couldn't ever get into the blog and what I was writing about.  It never felt right it had no meaning or importance.  Because of that I just quit writing.  I am not the best writer but I do enjoy writing it is my way of getting things off my chest.  So you may say well then just write a journal.  I believe some of the things I have to say could possible help someone else through things they are struggling with or questioning.  That is what got me back to blogging.  I feel that I have grown up a lot and my life has changed so much, that at this point my blogs will have some meaning.  

Have experienced so much that has made me grow as a friend, daughter, sister, wife, and a mommy.  Ryan (my husband)  and I moved to Denver where we had no family or friends.  It was exciting we were newlyweds and ready for a change.  We grew so close to each other, we depended so much on each other.  I think it is safe to say we both learned so much more about each other.  We loved Denver and it will always be a second home to me.  But after two years we had an opportunity to come back to Texas and we both (maybe me a little bit more) felt it would be a good time to come back.  I do have to say the best part about Denver is my beautiful little Henry was born making me a proud Mommy.  Henry was born February 11, 2013, happy and healthy.  

Henry has taught me so much and is another adventure that at times has been tough but has changed my life for the best.   Because of him is the reason why I wanted to start blogging again.  I am at the point in my life that a lot of my friends are having babies.  There is so much about having a child that I think people are afraid to talk about.  Well I want to talk about it.  I want to tell people what I have gone through, my experiences, and my stories.  I hope that I can provide advice not just from myself but also from my amazing friends and family that have given me so much help.  

I hope everyone enjoys my posts to come!