Nursing Mama

I did it I can nurse and with no problems!  Wait now I have to nurse.  I went into this whole baby thing thinking either 1. I won’t be able too nurse to many people I know were not able too or 2. I will be able to nurse and it will be so easy.  Well I was able to nurse but it wasn't so easy mentally or physically.

In the hospital right after Henry was born the nurses were great. They helped me figure out ways to get Henry to latch on properly (I have never been felt up so much let alone by another woman).  I was recommended to use a nipple shield which, whala it worked.  He could latch so easily but then there was the fear that I wouldn't get good stimulation so I was told to pump after every nursing session. OMG WHAT! after I nurse for an hour I now need to pump for at least ten minutes.  Well guess what my milk came in just fine. Then there was the fear that I will dry up because I am still using the nipple shield.  Luckily I was able to stop using the shield after a few months. Thank goodness because those things seemed to never be where I needed them to be when it was time to nurse.  

We got the nursing thing down, onto how you should feel.  People always told me it was so magical to hold your baby and nurse him.  Well of course I love holding my baby and cuddling him. I don’t love trying to get him to eat enough and not being able to go do anything longer than three hours because I will need to nurse or pump.  Wait, not three hours two because one of those hours is spent nursing. It took my son forever to nurse he ate slow, he would fall asleep, and well if you haven’t noticed he is a big boy so he ate a lot!  I am not joking when I say he nursed for an hour and then I would have to burp him and change his diaper. Don't forget about pumping afterwards I need to store up the milk.  I went back to work and pumped 3 times a day hoping that I could keep my milk supply up and I did.  I get it I am so lucky I was able to nurse my child and nurse my child for so long.  Secretly I was jealous of those moms that could just go do whatever they wanted. They didn't have to worry about keeping milk cold, leaking (my favorite issue), nursing in public, or pumping.  I had to make sure I was always drinking enough water, which I know is good for me.  I was crazy too I didn't ever want to use my pumped milk because it was only for emergencies.  I would only drink alcohol super late and just a little bit because I was going to have to nurse or pump. I would feel so guilty if I ever had to pump and dump (which luckily only happened twice).  I love my son and I would hold him and rock him every second if he would let me.  But something about being stuck in one spot, sometimes in an uncomfortable position because it was the only way he would latch on was frustrating.  I really struggled with nursing and maybe part of that was that I didn't have a good setup, I don’t know, but I did it and I continued to do it till my baby was 8 months.  

I am still nursing my son in the morning, only because that is much easier than fixing a bottle but no worries that will go no longer than 1 year of age.  I decided to start giving Henry formula because it was becoming too difficult to pump during the day. Also, I was not producing enough milk to get him through the next day.  I am glad I went as long as I did, I never thought I would have gone that long.  I do love not pumping or nursing as much any more.  I feel so free and not tied down to a machine. 

Through all of this, the hardest thing for me was the comments I would hear from people about how magical nursing is.  Well guess what it was not magical to me. It took me awhile to be ok with not feeling so magical.  To this day I still feel I am the only one who does not love nursing and if that is the case, fine by me! I would love to here your opinions on nursing if you love or hate it.